![]() ![]() ![]() The opposite of self-protection, therefore-it’s antidote-is other-protection… defense of each other. Therefore, what is needed is for partners to protect each other, making self-protection unnecessary. The ruinous behaviors are either us being self-protective or causing our partner to be self-protective. This is because all of the destructive patterns have at their core some aspect of self-defensiveness. The common denominator underlying all of the antidotes is protection. These terms will be clarified below, but before delving into each toxin, I want to identify the universal antidote for them all. The six destructive patterns discovered by The Gottman Institute (TGI) are: He has thus given couples an exit ramp from the contentious road they were traveling, and onto a smoother highway toward a harmonious, mutually satisfying relationship. Gottman’s research-identified antidotes to the toxins helps couples know not only what needs to change, but what exactly to do, instead. Identifying and naming these destructive patterns helps couples know what to change. John Gottman’s four decades of research on couples has given us language for the typical patterns that divide couples. ![]()
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